Changes coming

It’s a new month, soon to be a new year.  I feel like I’ve wasted this year.  The year started out so good.  I came out for good to my dad, and the world didn’t come to an end.  I started going back out dressed, and nothing untoward came out of it, aside from the odd snicker.  I came out to my employers, and I still have a job, though not quite the way I’d hoped.

Everything was going so well, I thought.  I started dropping by the job when I was off, something I’ve always done, because I care that much about the work.  I started going by en femme, because that’s my preferred mode, and they were still cool with it.  Then I went in for a lunch meeting, and the Vice President of the company was there.  She seemed cool with everything.  I got a little speech about how important my work was to the company, and how they were willing to put up with my “peculiarities” because of it.  Then I got called into the office the next day and was asked to dress as a male at work.  They didn’t say it was conditional or anything, but I got the message.  I didn’t go out dressed for months.

I finally made it back out in November, if only for a Day of Remembrance memorial.  I’m tired of repressing.  I’m tired of presenting as a male because it’s expected.  I’m tired of trying to maintain two wardrobes (though admittedly, my male wardrobe is teeny).  The company holiday party is coming up in a couple of weeks.  I went last year, in drab (because they wouldn’t let me dress up), and I was bored.  I’m dressing as I please this year.  Anyone who doesn’t like it can FRAK OFF.  After that, I think I’m going to have a little chat with management and let them know how things are.

Watch this space.

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